2008

I'm not usually one to make any kind of New Year's resolution. I mean, all year long I'm trying to eat less sugar (not gonna happen), and work out more, so why do I really need to put the emphasis on the beginning of the year? It's a struggle no matter what time of year it is.

But when I took this life expectancy test and I only made it to 94 years old, I thought there must be something I can do to try to make it to 100. After you've taken the test, it gives you some recommendations to add some years, and there were two things that I really took notice of. Teeth flossing and less coffee. I mean, I really love coffee. Possibly even more than both the Gilmore Girls put together. But I got to thinking, do I *really* need to drink a whole pot of coffee every day? I think not. Am I capable of exercising a small amount of willpower? I hope so. It's not like I'm trying to give up salt-water taffy or anything.

My plan is to slowly decrease. Since I start my new job next week (oh yeah, I got a j-o-b finally), I'm not going to have the time in the a.m. to sit and down all that caffeine, so one cup on the go will do me just fine. After that, it's going to be tea, tea, tea and more tea.

Now, I just have to be patient and wait til 94 passes me up!

Oh, and by the way, Martha Stewart took this very same test and apparently she's going to make it to 110 years old!

All I got for Christmas was this Joey McIntyre button, circa 1988

Actually, I made out pretty well this Christmas. I got a fluffy-soft white robe that I haven't taken off since I opened it, some fun As Seen on T.V. pasta cooker, wrist weights, a stocking full of my favorite salt-water taffy, Jeff framed ALL of my ABBA records, and the grand finale was a frickin' fancy Casio keyboard that I'm actually a little intimidated by. Even the keys light up. But if you got a shit-tastic gift, your not alone. Maybe you'll feel better after you visit the bad gift emporium!

It's a Hit, Part II

Not only did my first attempt at marshmallows come out better than expected, I also found a super simple recipe for peppermint bark, which is one of my favorite holiday treats! They turned out dee-lish and pretty to boot!















And some puuuuuuuuurdy mini-cupcakes

It's a Hit

At the very last minute of the pre-holiday weekend, I decided to go ahead and try making those candy cane marshmallows. Since there were just a few ingredients involved, and I am after all, The Candy Queen, I decided to test the waters. Since I had extra ingredients, I decided to double the recipe, making one 8" square pan to cut into small squares and used the rest to fill a 9x13 pan and cut those into marshmallow bars, dipping the ends in dark chocolate.

It took a while for the sugar/corn syrup mixture to get to 260 degreesOnce I poured the mixture and did the marbleizing technique, I knew it was going to be a success!















The most important thing in making these sticky treats, I found, is to let them sit overnight to firm up and use plenty of powdered sugar when cutting them.














And then I dipped some of them in chocolatey goodness, and packaged 'em up!

Saturday Morning

Rachel: Is it weird that my favorite thing to do is surf the Martha Stewart website?

Jeff: Yes.

Rachel: If we lived in New York, I'd totally be going for a job at Martha Stewart Omnimedia. I've looked before, and you could even get a job naming paint colors!

Jeff: How boring!

Rachel: *speechless*

Happy holidays from Heart [best Seattle band eva!], y'all!

Martha Say Whaaaaaat?

Candy-cane marshmallows?!?!?!?!

Oh.My.God.

I haven't seen anything this good since Jolly Time came out with Mallow-Magic popcorn!

All Things Yum

For whatever reason I haven't felt super inspired about making holiday goodies this year. Maybe I'm burnt out from Thanksgiving, maybe I'm depressed about my job situation, or maybe it's all the disturbing news about Jamie Lynn Spears. I should have at least made a gingerbread house by now. Not sure anything could have topped last year's candy crazed gingerbread making party at my friend Amanda's house. I went to three different stores to ensure I got every available gummy, hard candy and novelty sweet. $60 later ensured that I did. Mix that with what Amanda had prepared for and her dining room looked liked it could have been the research and development room at Haribo.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and a lot people are out there baking away for the holidays. One writer challenged herself to make every single type of cookie in the Martha Stewart holiday cookie magazine. There are 106. And Martha's own daughter, Alexis, took it upon herself to bake ALL of her gifts this year.

These ladies had the gumption I was longing for.

But all of that changed when I was shopping for a white elephant gift yesterday I popped into Williams-Sonoma.

First I saw these adorable minuscule sugar decorations. Something I could never make on my own.
And how perfect would these be topped on my mini-cupcakes?!? Oh yes! I haven't made those in a while and cupcakes, especially the cute mini ones, would make a unique holiday treat to bring to an Xmas Eve party.

Suddenly my creative circulation was coming back. I just HAD to have these sugary decals.

Next came the great debate between cake mixes. Betty Crocker or Pillsbury? White cake, yellow cake or rainbow chip, perhaps? Hell no! Turns out, Sprinkles cupcake bakery sells gourmet mix in flippin fabulous flavors like red velvet and chocolate peppermint. So even though these little sweet gems won't be completely homemade, I'm going to make my own frosting and decorate with the sugar figures and crushed candy canes.

When I got home, I was a little more inspired and thought, maybe I could get my holiday baking mojo back and went to marthastewart.com. Sure enough I found a seemingly easy recipe for homemade peppermint bark, a favorite of mine so I will attempt that as well. And pictures will definitely be taken!

Good luck with all your holiday endeavors!

Desperate Times Call For...

Today I got my first $20 haircut. I'm used to, uhhh...paying [insert obscene amount of moo-la here].

Though not the friendliest group of stylists, I'd have to say that for the price, it's a decent cut and I'd even consider doing it again.

4th Grade Perm

Look at that perfectly coiffed hair! Not to mention the outfit courtesy of the Warren Jeffs holiday collection.

Yet Another Reason for Ladies to Blame their Menstrual Cycle!

I can't quite decide if I love this study or hate this study.

But could the reason I haven't been able to find a job yet have to do with the fact that I haven't been scheduling my interviews during ovulation??? Hmmm...It doesn't hurt to try.

I know, So Many Video Posts, but...

I was OK when Little Richard did a Geico commercial. That was actually pretty funny. But c'mon, I always liked Peter Frampton. Is he really this desperate?

?!@#$

Is this how all foreigners learn English?

Oh, Yay for May!

But how will it turn out? Will it be awesome?! Will it be the next Pretty Woman or Dirty Dancing, in which one can watch over and over and over? Or will it be one big fat disappointment?

7 Random Facts

1. Once I was offered money in exchange for sex by a Japanese tourist outside a cafe in Seattle.

2. Considering a new career in Esthetics.

3. When I was little I had a tap dance recital to the song "Puttin' on the Ritz."

4. I can't lie, I love watching "The Hills" and "Keeping up with the Kardashians." (Not to mention every time someone says "Kloe Kardashian, who's famous for having a sister who's famous for having a big ass") Gosh! If I could only get famous for having a big ass, things would be a lot easier.

5. I really want to see this movie Atonement

6. I am excited about reading my new book by Steve Martin about Steve Martin, but I haven't started yet.

7. My lunch is ready.

Now that you've read this, you have to list 7 random facts too or you'll like burn in hell or something...especially if you're not Jewish, because Jews don't have Hell, but I hear it's a nasty place for you Christ lovers. Post your facts on your own blog or in my comments section!

America's Favorite Lezbot

Someone had asked me if I had seen this episode of the Ellen DeGeneres Show. I don't even know what time that shit is on here in Sactown, so no, I had not seen it...But I'm sorry I missed it! Oh, Ellen! Oh, Jenna Bush! What a gem!

Oh, Hanukkah?

Sometimes I feel like a traitor, but most of my friends know that I prefer Christmas to Hanukkah. I mean, who wouldn't prefer the beautiful tree to the menorah and dradle? So, yay! It's basically a top, and you spin it...You spin it and you get some chocolate coins. Chocolate coins? And why do you get chocolate coins? Hmm...Jewish kids playing with candy money.

I don't have many memories of celebrating Hanukkah as a kid. I know we did, but the only tradition I remember is that every year my brothers and I would each get a check from our grandparents in the amount of $50. We got $50 for Hanukkah and $100 for our birthday. We could always count on that. What you might not know about Jewish people, is that they pay you for your time, even your family, and especially the old ones. Whenever we went to Miami to visit the grandparents, they'd always hand us a check or some cash right after our visit, right as we were leaving for the airport and it was always a fairly large amount. It always made things a little awkward since it felt like I was being bribed for spending time with old people. Last month, I visited my mother in Arizona and she did the same thing. "For your travels," she said. My dad is coming to visit next weekend and I had to prep Jeff by telling him that my dad was probably going to want to pay for everything, buy us stuff, and possibly even hand him some cash at some point. I had to explain to just let my dad do it. That it doesn't mean he thinks we can't take care of ourselves, but that it's just a Jewish thing...A way for him to show support and even "love."

Another thing that's pretty bogus a bout Hanukkah is that there are no good songs. I can get behind some of those indie rock Christmas albums, Brian Seltzer and even Mariah Carey's Christmas album. But besides that stupid Adam Sandler song (which, by the way, isn't funny) the coolest Hanukkah song is this:



Hanukkah is so overlooked in this country that they can't even get "real" people to talk about it...Just Crank Yankers, err, whatever these are:



Anyway, my point is, I'd rather have this candy tree, decorated in gummies and candy sticks. Wouldn't you?

Is There Anybody Out There?

Alright, so I'm like 98 percent sure that no one reads this blog. Thus, the lack of posts lately. But whether or not that is true, I can't help but share this little piece of LMAO action, just in case someone out there is perusing this.

Last night as Jeff and I were enjoying the season premiere of Intervention, he looks at me and says "Oh my god, listen to what happened to me today!"

I looked at him with enthusiasm, ready to hear something awesomely amazing...

Jeff goes on to tell me what a busy day at work he had. That he walked across the Intel campus at least 4 times. That he had meetings with the fancy people. But that it wasn't until he was leaving for the day, walking to his car, when he noticed his t-shirt felt a little puffy with static cling. Looking down to straighten out his shirt he realized there was something peculiar making the shirt not fit quite right. As he tugs the shirt down, the unthinkable happened...A pair of my panties falls out (clean ones)! Right out of his shirt!

I can't help but think that if this would have happened while he was actually at work, in front of someone, he would have forever been known, not as Jeff the engineer, but as Jeff "the panty sniffer," or even worse, Jeff "the engineer guy who wears women's panties!"

My lesson: I need to do a better job putting the laundry away! But that story made my day!