Oh, Hanukkah?

Sometimes I feel like a traitor, but most of my friends know that I prefer Christmas to Hanukkah. I mean, who wouldn't prefer the beautiful tree to the menorah and dradle? So, yay! It's basically a top, and you spin it...You spin it and you get some chocolate coins. Chocolate coins? And why do you get chocolate coins? Hmm...Jewish kids playing with candy money.

I don't have many memories of celebrating Hanukkah as a kid. I know we did, but the only tradition I remember is that every year my brothers and I would each get a check from our grandparents in the amount of $50. We got $50 for Hanukkah and $100 for our birthday. We could always count on that. What you might not know about Jewish people, is that they pay you for your time, even your family, and especially the old ones. Whenever we went to Miami to visit the grandparents, they'd always hand us a check or some cash right after our visit, right as we were leaving for the airport and it was always a fairly large amount. It always made things a little awkward since it felt like I was being bribed for spending time with old people. Last month, I visited my mother in Arizona and she did the same thing. "For your travels," she said. My dad is coming to visit next weekend and I had to prep Jeff by telling him that my dad was probably going to want to pay for everything, buy us stuff, and possibly even hand him some cash at some point. I had to explain to just let my dad do it. That it doesn't mean he thinks we can't take care of ourselves, but that it's just a Jewish thing...A way for him to show support and even "love."

Another thing that's pretty bogus a bout Hanukkah is that there are no good songs. I can get behind some of those indie rock Christmas albums, Brian Seltzer and even Mariah Carey's Christmas album. But besides that stupid Adam Sandler song (which, by the way, isn't funny) the coolest Hanukkah song is this:



Hanukkah is so overlooked in this country that they can't even get "real" people to talk about it...Just Crank Yankers, err, whatever these are:



Anyway, my point is, I'd rather have this candy tree, decorated in gummies and candy sticks. Wouldn't you?