I know, So Many Video Posts, but...

I was OK when Little Richard did a Geico commercial. That was actually pretty funny. But c'mon, I always liked Peter Frampton. Is he really this desperate?

?!@#$

Is this how all foreigners learn English?

Oh, Yay for May!

But how will it turn out? Will it be awesome?! Will it be the next Pretty Woman or Dirty Dancing, in which one can watch over and over and over? Or will it be one big fat disappointment?

7 Random Facts

1. Once I was offered money in exchange for sex by a Japanese tourist outside a cafe in Seattle.

2. Considering a new career in Esthetics.

3. When I was little I had a tap dance recital to the song "Puttin' on the Ritz."

4. I can't lie, I love watching "The Hills" and "Keeping up with the Kardashians." (Not to mention every time someone says "Kloe Kardashian, who's famous for having a sister who's famous for having a big ass") Gosh! If I could only get famous for having a big ass, things would be a lot easier.

5. I really want to see this movie Atonement

6. I am excited about reading my new book by Steve Martin about Steve Martin, but I haven't started yet.

7. My lunch is ready.

Now that you've read this, you have to list 7 random facts too or you'll like burn in hell or something...especially if you're not Jewish, because Jews don't have Hell, but I hear it's a nasty place for you Christ lovers. Post your facts on your own blog or in my comments section!

America's Favorite Lezbot

Someone had asked me if I had seen this episode of the Ellen DeGeneres Show. I don't even know what time that shit is on here in Sactown, so no, I had not seen it...But I'm sorry I missed it! Oh, Ellen! Oh, Jenna Bush! What a gem!

Oh, Hanukkah?

Sometimes I feel like a traitor, but most of my friends know that I prefer Christmas to Hanukkah. I mean, who wouldn't prefer the beautiful tree to the menorah and dradle? So, yay! It's basically a top, and you spin it...You spin it and you get some chocolate coins. Chocolate coins? And why do you get chocolate coins? Hmm...Jewish kids playing with candy money.

I don't have many memories of celebrating Hanukkah as a kid. I know we did, but the only tradition I remember is that every year my brothers and I would each get a check from our grandparents in the amount of $50. We got $50 for Hanukkah and $100 for our birthday. We could always count on that. What you might not know about Jewish people, is that they pay you for your time, even your family, and especially the old ones. Whenever we went to Miami to visit the grandparents, they'd always hand us a check or some cash right after our visit, right as we were leaving for the airport and it was always a fairly large amount. It always made things a little awkward since it felt like I was being bribed for spending time with old people. Last month, I visited my mother in Arizona and she did the same thing. "For your travels," she said. My dad is coming to visit next weekend and I had to prep Jeff by telling him that my dad was probably going to want to pay for everything, buy us stuff, and possibly even hand him some cash at some point. I had to explain to just let my dad do it. That it doesn't mean he thinks we can't take care of ourselves, but that it's just a Jewish thing...A way for him to show support and even "love."

Another thing that's pretty bogus a bout Hanukkah is that there are no good songs. I can get behind some of those indie rock Christmas albums, Brian Seltzer and even Mariah Carey's Christmas album. But besides that stupid Adam Sandler song (which, by the way, isn't funny) the coolest Hanukkah song is this:



Hanukkah is so overlooked in this country that they can't even get "real" people to talk about it...Just Crank Yankers, err, whatever these are:



Anyway, my point is, I'd rather have this candy tree, decorated in gummies and candy sticks. Wouldn't you?

Is There Anybody Out There?

Alright, so I'm like 98 percent sure that no one reads this blog. Thus, the lack of posts lately. But whether or not that is true, I can't help but share this little piece of LMAO action, just in case someone out there is perusing this.

Last night as Jeff and I were enjoying the season premiere of Intervention, he looks at me and says "Oh my god, listen to what happened to me today!"

I looked at him with enthusiasm, ready to hear something awesomely amazing...

Jeff goes on to tell me what a busy day at work he had. That he walked across the Intel campus at least 4 times. That he had meetings with the fancy people. But that it wasn't until he was leaving for the day, walking to his car, when he noticed his t-shirt felt a little puffy with static cling. Looking down to straighten out his shirt he realized there was something peculiar making the shirt not fit quite right. As he tugs the shirt down, the unthinkable happened...A pair of my panties falls out (clean ones)! Right out of his shirt!

I can't help but think that if this would have happened while he was actually at work, in front of someone, he would have forever been known, not as Jeff the engineer, but as Jeff "the panty sniffer," or even worse, Jeff "the engineer guy who wears women's panties!"

My lesson: I need to do a better job putting the laundry away! But that story made my day!